Hope you all have a great Thursday.  Sharing a funny story this morning about living with someone who is directionally challenged. Hope you all enjoy this story from a few years back.

Bill, Where Am I?

So, the title to the story is exactly what I heard several years ago when I was awakened by a telephone call at about 1:00 in the morning from a dead sleep by my wife, Frances “Mike” Lee.  Not a “Hello” or “Bill, this is Mike.” Or even a “Bill, sorry to call and wake you up but I need some help.”  Nope none of these. Just the words coming out of the telephone, “Bill, where am I?”

Well, as my mind struggled to get the cobwebs out of it, I tried to get a handle on the question. The reason for my momentary confusion was because as far as I knew, Mike and her sister Cindy Mitchell were supposed to be in Hattiesburg, MS visiting with our daughter Anna. But given the question asked, my quick response was, “Well, I give up. I don’t know where you are?“

Now, to fully understand this, you have to know that Mike and her sister were both, shall we say, severely directionally challenged. As in Mike could get lost going to places we had been to several times before and not have a clue as to how to get there. She even got lost one time coming home from a family reunion that had been held at the same place for years and to which she had driven from home that morning, ending up driving about 20 miles out of her way because she made a wrong turn to the left when she should have turned right. And, Cindy is a just about as bad when in places with which she is not totally familiar.

Anyway, when I told her I had no idea where she was, the real story began to emerge. So what had happened was this.

While Mike and Cindy were in Hattiesburg visiting with Anna, the two of them decided to go down to Biloxi and spend a little time playing the slots in some of the casinos there. The distance from Hattiesburg to Biloxi is about 50 miles or so. To get there, one only has to take one road from there down to the coast and make one turn to get onto the main road in Biloxi, US Highway 98. As it turned out, they had made it to Biloxi with no problems, played the games for a few hours and were in the process of trying to find their way back to Hattiesburg. At the time of the call, they were on a road with not a clue as to which way to go, thus the telephone call to me.

After, I got the sleep out of my head and found out they were somewhere in Biloxi with not a clue as to which way they were going or what road they were on, I finally got Mike to just stop. I even had her hand the telephone to Cindy so I could talk to her without Mike having to try and listen to directions while also driving the car. As I was talking to Cindy, I asked her what road they were on. She did not know but I got her to start looking for road signs and eventually got them onto US 98. Once this was done, I got her to find out if they were heading east on 98 or west on 98. All the time, she is talking to Mike and helping her to get turned around, change lanes, make the right turns and so on. Of course, all this time, I am hearing them talk to one another and it was like listening to a 3 ring circus with all 3 rings going at the same time. It was a real comedy listening to Cindy trying to give directions to Mike and Mike hollering about missing the roads, missing turns, or being in the wrong lane.

Anyway, while this circus is going on, I am trying to find out from Cindy if they even remember the road number that they are supposed to take to get back to Hattiesburg. She thinks maybe she does but is not sure and does not know if the road they need to take is to the east or west from where they were on US 98.

About this time, my mind finally cleared up enough to start thinking a little bit. So, I then asked, “Cindy, are you all driving our vehicle?”  She said, “Yes, we are in your car.”  I then said, “Cindy, is the Tom-Tom electronic directional device up there on the windshield turned on?”  She said, “No.”  I said, “Cindy, reach up there and turn the damn thing on!”

She turned the Tom-Tom on and said, “Now what do I need to do?” I said, “Now that it is on, hit the little highlighted line that says Anna’s Apartment and y’all follow the damn directions on that until you get back to Hattiesburg!”  By now, she was laughing as was I.

I hung up the telephone, turned over and went back to sleep. I did not hear from them anymore so I guessed they were able to follow the directions on the Tom-Tom without further assistance. When they got back to Bonifay form the trip, we all laughed heartily at the adventure of the directionally challenged sisters.

Needless to say the fact that we had a Ton-Tom was of much help on several occasions over the next few years when Mike and Cindy would go off together.